yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
I woke up in a house cuddled up with a beagle on a futon. have no idea who anyone is but they all call me stretch. yeaaahhh boiiiiii
I wish you got a notification every time someone masturbated to a Facebook picture of you...
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
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