Have you finally orgasmed yet?
in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
those girls across the street saw me hanging my towel off of my penis...they're coming over later
I've just never had a dinner guest strut in, go directly to my bathroom, vomit.. then come out demanding whiskey and food.
Was it high me or sober me who put those Jolly Rancher sticks in the freezer? I'd be soooo impressed if it was high me.
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
I baked a frozen pizza completely, put it back in the plastic and box, and put it back in the freezer. THAT drunk.
Are you saying I'm your favorite hot mess?
I'm actually my favorite my hot mess, but you're a close second.
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
Randomize
