Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
It was like watching Stephen Hawking try to swim.
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
they won't let me drive with my sombrero
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
Randomize
