Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
I saw his package. It spoke to me.
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
You spilled spaghetti on the floor, and kept telling the noodles to "settle down" as you tried to clean it up
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
My hangover headache is somewhere in the Harry Potter scar neighborhood. I can now empathize with that poor bastard.
My New Years resolution is to not hook up with random guys.
Mine is to not hook up with anyone who has a kid.
Randomize
