So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
i think the bruises are from the grocery store. on separate occasions. i've been spending a lot of time drunk at the market lately.
i have a vague recollection of being in the parking deck around 4 this morning, and on monday morning i was naked on the roof.
that would mean it's on tape
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
Just saw a 300lb woman fall down. Shes screaming like a beached manatee. Her 120lb boyfriend is trying to push her up. It's like watching an infant try to bench
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
after we were done she whispered to my dick "you sir, are a genius"
I guess all those years with her as your babysitter finally paid off.
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
I was gonna start crying but as he was asking me for my info i saw him eyeing my rack. So I sorta started pushing them together. He asked me to get out of the car he made me turn around so he could check me out and then he said and I quote "okay ma'am. Everything is fine, I'm going to let you off with a warning. Next time if you're not wearing yoga pants you might not be as lucky" I am blessed.
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
i think we sleep fucked last night...
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
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