I just poured my flask into a drink. Then I realized the drink belonged to the guy next to me so I stole it from him. He confronted me and I made out with him to distract him. When I looked up, I realized his wife was watching. Its barely 10:00.
ran into someone who graduated hs with us while i was paying for booze in quarters. i love it when people from my past catch me in my classier moments.
She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
I was late because I helped this old romanian lady mow her lawn at 2AM.
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
If body pillows had a built in vibrator attached I would literally never need a boyfriend again
Randomize
