my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
I convinced a German girl that I was born while my mom was water skiing and I preceded to barefoot ski behind her via the umbilical cord...
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
Don't try to sleep with work colleagues because he won't be able to get it up and you won't be able to look him in the eye ever again
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
It's only 3 AM. There's still time to get arrested today.
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