you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
He told me his condom was going to expire tomorrow and he needed to use it. I can't believe I fell for it.
I need a secretary to manage my drinking schedule.
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
I bought you a small gift as a preemptive apology for being a drunken slut tonight.
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
Just ran into a client at a sex shop. The meeting tomorrow is going to be really awkward as we both try not to picture each other using vibrators or role play costumes.
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
Randomize
