Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
Come over? It's my birthday
How many times has that text failed you tonight?
i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
Fuck men. I'm going to go eat a package of cookie dough and get fat. I hope I die of salmonella.
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
I need a hoe opinion
go on
my drug dealer is also my eyebrow lady. Two birds, one stone.
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
Randomize
