Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
woke up on the kitchen floor in the recovery position. at least drunk me remembered sober me's emt training
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
I whipped my shit out and she just stared at it with a mean face. It was like a face off in a heavyweight boxing fight.
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
Apparently, the right response to, "How do you feel about a terrorist being in the area?" isn't, "Well, we have vodka in the freezer, so we're good for now."
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
Randomize
