I thought I was riding a bike, but I guess it was a vacuum cleaner
Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
the best part about being a teacher is there are always 20 little kids around me to blame my farts on
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
Lmao I should put that ad on Craigslist "in need of muscular and determined team of men to carry drunken birthday whore safely home"
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
Sorry man, but I'd rather do drugs with strangers than watch sports with you. It's not personal, drugs always beat sports.
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
Randomize
