brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
He kept humping my leg and whispering "dont worry, thats my phone not my penis"
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
it’s not easy to sexualize brunch. work with me, babe.
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
Randomize
