I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
I wanna passion pit in your ass
I love how my brain works. It's like being on drugs without the costly upkeep.
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
luckily my workout playlist doubles as a masturbation playlist.
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
I woke up to find his roommate face down on the couch with no pants on, with a sticky note that said "was lost but now am found"
You kept mumbling that you could become one with the carpet as you proceeded to give yourself the worst carpet burn I have ever seen
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
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