By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
You kept showing the cop the bruises on the bottoms of your feet and claiming you were a medical mystery.
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
Seriously? We dated for 2 weeks. TWO. And I've crushed his soul and put out the light in his dark world? What the actual fuck.
Yeah, well. That's what you get for dating a musician.
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
Randomize
