Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
Oh my god. I just RAN OVER a child. Oh my god this isnt my day. That kid was cool as fuck though
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
I'm either a high functioning alcoholic or I'm making the most of the fact that this is the last year that its socially acceptable to be black-out drunk five days a week.
Officially locked in my status as an indifferent millennial by downloading Tinder.
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
Randomize
