so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
listen if there's one thing I'm asking of you tonight is that you buy me a cow for my farmville.
Tell me you're stoned. It's 2:40am.
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
The guy had great intentions when throwing us free beer off the balcony... but of course I was the one to get hit in the face because that's the kind of luck I have
I just scored a new eye doctor and a date all in one email. BOOM!
She was blowing me like a porn star and all I could think was "you just told me your grandfather is dying in hospice right now"
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
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