Life lesson: if you fart while talking to a girl outside, the smell does not dissipate, it just lingers around mocking you
you used progresso chicken soup as a mixer last night
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
We couldn't get our shit together to go to the bar, so we're getting drunk and facebook stalking all the girls who have gotten fat since high school. Any names you wanna throw out?
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
Randomize
