So this text is costing me two dollars because I'm out of the country, but I just wanted to let you know it went well with the stripper last night
Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
You dont lie about slip and slides
I've slipped into the part of my life where I am not having sex to get Phils tickets from this chick. I need to seriously rethink my life decisions
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
You were laying next to me in bed at 4:30 a.m. I asked if you were drunk and you said you weren't drunk you were buzzed like a bumblebee. Then kept rambling on about having to call out of work.
Randomize
