Just had to reach into my sister's bag and shut off her vibrator so my parents wouldn't hear it. I am the world's greatest brother.
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
I can't tell if the dead thing in the yard is a deer or the guy I slept with last night...
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
Whelp, I woke up on the front lawn this morning. I have got to stop wearing these underwear. Every time I do, I end up puking in someone's greenery.
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
Randomize
