Have you ever secretly resented a girl for wanting to have sex when all you really wanted to do was rub one out and go to sleep?
what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
There are reggae songs being written about me...where have I gone wrong in life?
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
You wrote me a check. For zero dollars. For my soul. Dick.
I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.
I was desperate and wasn't about to let my cereal get soggy so I ate it on the toilet. Don't let me repeat last night.
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
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