Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
SITTING NEXT TO A CIRCUS PERFORMER AT PLANNED PARENTHOOD. THIS IS MY LIFE.
My mom just sent me this: "I like Jon, but he needs to be the one going down on you! Yeah, we saw your head pop up in your car last night."
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
Randomize
