sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
Just woke to a Christmas wrapped pack of hotdogs in my bathtub. How high did we get?
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
The druken crowd just broke into singing "God Bless America" while waiting the newlyweds to get in the limo. My friend is eating rose petals.
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
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