Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
If I had a nickel for every time somebody called me a bad person I would have enough money to check into rehab
For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
Do you know my vagina holds 14 pints of water?
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
Forgot to tell you--the bartender at Crowbar set his arm on fire last night. He was doing this "Cocktail" bartender trick of pouring alcohol that was on fire between glasses. Then some leaked out, onto his arm, and set his arm on fire, then his shirt. Exciting! (And he's ok).
We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
I just spent 30 minutes plucking my 2 month grown out pubes with tweezers so I’m hope your night is going better than mine
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