dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
my still drunk mind thought "hey this is a really good time to stand in the middle of the street barely clothed in 20 degree weather at 4 am talking about the blow job i gave him soph year of high school"
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
My boob is missing a layer of skin
Awkward is sitting in your parking spot and making eye contact with every one of your next door neighbors two hours before you have a threesome.
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
I'm doing my drinking workout. 20 pushups for each beer I finish. I should write a fucking book
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
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