yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
Just rescued a super cute pair of Gucci heels off the sorority lawn on my way to work. Things are worth two paychecks. Fuck trust fund kids.
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
I just sent Brandon a snapchat where I wasn't wearing a shirt but had a rooster drawn on my boobs that said "cock block" and laughed for 10 minutes I have problems don't judge me
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
And my cousin was so drunk he called an uber and instead he got into a cop car and they took him to the hospital
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
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