I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
Either these are mashed potatoes in my pants, or I was drunker than I thought.
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
Randomize
