i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
I can't try on my wedding dress because someone is trying to commit suicide in the store. Is this a sign?
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
I just realized I have yet to puke in your new apartment. Clearly we're doing something wrong. On my way over with Cuervo as I type.
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
Randomize
