We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
Randomize
