Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
As part of the off-hours team building exercises, I had my new coworkers figure out to push me back to the hotel from the nearby bars in a shopping cart every night for a week.
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
You sent me a snapchat of you hugging a beer with the caption "best friend"
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
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