I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
He was late, on account of he accidentally went to the Al-Anon meeting across the hall, and it took him 30 minutes to realize he was in the wrong room.
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
So about that you can bill me for the chair but it was David's idea to jump from the window sill into the washer with "clothing pillows of cloudiness" to land on to get ahold of him you have to phone his mother
I just talked to her she really hates you like a lot
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
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