I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
My now ex hook up buddy realized I was hooking up with others when she saw my spotify sex playlist making appearances on fb. fml
You drunkenly promised dick pics on your way out the door and then never delivered. I don't know how I'll ever be able to trust you again.
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
Randomize
