Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
She announced her abortion via fbk
So thanks to the xanax and vodka memory erasering combo i wake up only to reopen a picture of some very familiar balls
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
I've been with my family a total of 20 minutes and I'm ready to go on a bender. This is going to be a long weekend.
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
Randomize
