U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
So I'm driving and this guy next to me at the stop light is reving his engine and honking at me. Motherfucker thinks that's because I'm asian and drive a honda I'm automatically going to race him
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
fyi gin and iced coffee...not my greatest invention
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
I told them I got hit by a car again and now im pretty sure they think im being abused but there was no way in hell the truth was going to fly. Employed people aren't supposed to break their faces in piggy back ride accidents.
Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395...
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
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