The Swedes wanted a tensome.
pouring popcorn down my shirt before we went to the bar was the best idea ever. it was delicious and convenient.
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
There is nothing wrong with watching parks and rec all day then getting blackout drunk by night
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
Whoever was the bastard/bitch/genius who duct taped my keys to my dick so I wouldn't lose them. I hate you.
Randomize
