OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
I know you're on a date and I should leave you alone but about twenty minutes ago I realized I haven't been spanked in years so if you're still looking for a birthday present, you know, consider it.
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
I just got to my parents hungover as hell. My dad could tell and said "theres only one cure for a hangover" and handed me a beer. This morning went from a 0 to 10 in an instant.
He was so drunk last night. He woke up out of a dead sleep at 330am, walked over to the dresser, opened his middle drawer and proceeded to pee. When I woke up and asked him Wtf he was doing, he told me it was fake pee and blamed it on the cat...we don't have a cat
Randomize
