Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
i preemptively threaten to cock slap your kids if they are snobby yuppy bitches
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
Fuck. I think I can already feel tomorrow's hangover. It's like future me cane back to warn present me about the impending doom but didn't turn the time dial back far enough.
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Randomize
