And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
You spilled spaghetti on the floor, and kept telling the noodles to "settle down" as you tried to clean it up
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
Hey. Hope youre not too hungover. Also, did you put a Christmas tree in my guest bathroom and cover it with condoms?
I almost just texted "I'm lonely" to my gynecologist.
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
let’s be honest I’d fucking Irish step dance on your grave, asshole
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Randomize
