told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
Fun fact: My predictive text now prompts "walrus" as the most likely word to follow "intoxicated"...
you told me you wanted to be a soccer mom with a high tolerance then you put the bottle to your face
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
I broke my wrist trying to give him a blow job...
And this is why we can’t have nice things
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