Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
Just did a line with a monopoly bill. Tell me I'm not fancy.
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
I owe you an apology, I was appointed captain of this sexy fuckship and I fell asleep at the helm.
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
In the name of friendship, I’m going to kick your children into the ocean.
i need you to come over and tell me if you can notice that i'm only wearing a teddy underneath my trenchcoat
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