Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
he was so drunk I had to hold him up and he started crying when he heard an ambulance siren and said "is that for me?"
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
Some random at the bar just whispered in my ear that he wants to eat me out while on bath salts....
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
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