I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
Dude.. She just busted into my house wearing a ski mask, a poncho, and thigh-high pink hooker boots and yelled, "THE CABS ARE HEEERRREEE!!"
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
Randomize
