I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
I'm going to sing sad and lonely Barbra Streisand songs at the top of my lungs if you don't get here soon
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
You threw a handful of caps into a pitcher of Heineken and asked everyone if they wanted to go "bobbing for molly"
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
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