Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
Holy shit, you lost your virginity on 11/11/11. Now every time someone fucks you, they can make a wish. Your vagina has officially been transformed into a wishing well.
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
Just found a handle of Tito's in my TV stand
Can't recall when I put that there, but let's goooo
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