you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
i just practiced my bj skills on a banana in front of the mirror
its going to be a good night
what the fuck. my fiance told me she called our wedding band last night and told them to perform "best i ever had" for our first dance
can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
I made people serenade her before talking to her and went on a condom run. If I'm going to be in the friend zone, I'm going to be its fucking king.
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
You almost got us killed.
YOU’RE WELCOME FOR NAVIGATING YOU TO A ONCE IN A LIFETIME EXPERIENCE.
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