Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
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