The reason halloween exists is because it's not cheating if you're wearing a costume.
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
please remind me of this if i ever start out a night declaring my goal is to see how much american honey it takes for me to forget who i am again
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
I came twice and when I was done I petted his head and said "you did good kid you did good" and just laid back smiling. Tell me I'm not awesome.
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
Randomize
