so i woke up this morning thinking _____ was in bed with me. . .but it was only a half eaten sonic burger
so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
I'm doing laundry in pjs and heels, home alone with my margarita bucket.
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
I recommend we watch the Super Bowl together and have celebratory sex if we win. Good news is I don't have a team I dislike so were guaranteed a win.
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
Do you know how much wine is in a box of wine? Not so much an amount, but whether it will kill me if I drink the entire box this xmas
He offered me handsanitizer after a hand job, you can't tell me he's not perfect!
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
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