the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
ohhh no, absolutely not. i am waaayyy too superstitious to have sex with the self-proclaimed "baby-maker" on father's day...
How do you get mayonnaise out of... well jesus it's everywhere, let's start with carpets
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
Can you please venmo me emergency money? i have no pants.
I just took a condom out of my purse and opened it in front of my entire family because I thought it was a wetnap. Way too hungover for family brunch.
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
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