Not only did I see you last night, you had me help you meet women by convincing them you were deaf and only I understood your sign language
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
Not only is it unacceptable to be bar hopping alone at 5 o'clock. It is definitely unacceptable to do so with a lobster
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
The guy had great intentions when throwing us free beer off the balcony... but of course I was the one to get hit in the face because that's the kind of luck I have
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
When a best friend shows up on a tricycle with a case a beer and goes "get on loser" you get on, because there is a magical adventure afoot
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
I'm a little concerned about right now. You showed up at my house soaking wet, drunk with a bag of ham and 2 liter of Dr. Pepper, and you refused to tell me where you got the ham until I gave you some more liquor.
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
