I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
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