HIV tests are more positive than that guy
lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
i'm naked playing bejeweled blitz in your bed. this is both a forewarning and an apology
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
I gave him a BJ and he left. Coincidentally that's the name of my memoir.
You ran into the tattoo shop screaming PIERCE MY TITIES
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
This Cougar is looking at me like I’m a piece of meat and buying me top shelf cocktails
I’m getting a fear boner thinking about what she might do to me
Randomize
