when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
the fact that i fell through a skylight is the least humiliating part of the night
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
So, do you ever feel like EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOUR FRIENDS IS INVOLVED IN A MASSIVE AND INTRICATE CONSPIRACY TO COCKBLOCK YOU AT ALL COSTS?
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
You can't just be this socially awkward and sexually frustrated and jealous as a fucking demon and be expected to stay sober.
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
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