It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
told weddin planner we wanted to work in ceremonial body shots before vows. she hasnt reponded yet...
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
Aaaand my life has been reduced to whether I can reach to flush my puke down the toilet using my foot. The answer is yes.
I would makeout with my roommate, but im not drunk enough and she doesnt like bacon fat
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
I just spontaneously learned how to embroider at three in the morning.
I also almost burned the house down in the process. Don't ask me how. It's a long story.
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
I just did my taxes to sober up, I'm THAT hungover
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
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